I did AA for a while. I really did like it, got a ton out of it, but after a while, it just started to depress me. It was the same people, the same stories, it felt kind of cliquey and so I stopped going. I was sober for a while, and very happy!
I think the trigger for me last night was pure happiness. Isn't that the stupidest thing you have ever heard?
My kids were both gone for the night, my husband and I had an awesome day together, and after dinner, we sat down to watch a movie, and had some drinks. Even when I was sober, I didn't mind if he drank, because it was my problem, not his, and it never tempted me or anything. But last night I had too much, and today just reminds me of what I used to feel like EVERY day, way back when.
I do NOT want to go back to that. I WON'T.
So here I am, back, loving the support that people give here, and feeling optimistic about tomorrow!