Originally Posted by
Deuce 
I would ask if while she was being nurtured, loved and all the rest. was she getting any kind of professional, or group support on a regular basis to help her grow and evolve? If there were emotional issues were they being handled in therapy? I agree, there is no sure fire answer that fits everyone. That is why it comes down to your specific situation.
Yes, since age 12, every possible thing I could do (therapy, mentors, access to arts & special programs, dual-diagnosis treatment at 15, etc). And sometimes there was a little traction, and sometimes not. She was likely an addict (in the disease sense we discuss on SR and in NarAnon) by age 15, but is so smart, precocious, and manipulative that all of the professionals in a hospital treatment setting concluded after one week that she was not an addict.
She was, though, and was probably suffering from anxiety/depression. I believed them--that she wasn't an addict--and then continued to offer her several more years of support and opportunity and love. We even left the town where we were living, in part for her, hoping that in a new setting she'd find more opportunity and a new set of friends. Instead, she found the drug dealers.
I agree, every situation is different, and when dealing with a severely addicted teen or young adult, normal parenting instincts & solutions don't usually work.
Your friend's son is lucky to have you. I am glad it worked out for him.