My husband and I allowed the son of one of his best friends to come live with us. His dad had passed away, and the son had been reacting for months drinking a lot, using cocaine. His mom was grieving and couldnt handle him at home any longer. The big event came when she found out he swindled a whole semester of college tuition but withdrew and got the money back. She asked us to try to help him because she didn't want him on the streets.
He has been living with us since last summer and calling our furnished basement home. We had only a few rules. No drugs in the house, no being drunk in the house, no drug friends in the house, be polite and respectful.
He was going to counseling for the loss of his father, and the drug addiction. He kept that up.
My husband helped secure a job for him and the people there also knew his dad,'sort of took him under their wing and taught him all aspects of the business to see what interested him.
This all started for us last summer I guess.
We only had a few rules broke. Once he came home very late drunk and my husband left him to sleep in the backyard on lawn furniture (it was summer) and once he hung out with old friends, the whole car got pulled over and even though a passenger he was taken to jail. Was released no charges because my husband agreed to pick him up.
After that he wised up. He started going to church with us and got involved in their young adult programs. Made friends, even met the girl he now dates. He found funds on his own to re-enroll in college (most leftover from what he swindled) and started again. Last semester his mom began paying again for his tuition. He will now graduate in May and will be working full time for the same company. He wants to start grad school next fall.
I think you will see him behaving responsibly, trying to make new friends, lead a decent life. Being respectful to you and your wife. Good grades, an interest in his future.
I wonder sometimes what would have happened if his path had been different. Like if he had been on the streets, been left at jail or had charges against him, had not had money for tuition. I will think about all this as as watch him graduate in a couple months. I should also add, after he got back in college and had the part time job, he offered to pay us rent. Remember we are not even relatives in this situation. We didn’t want to take the money at first, but he said it was to thank us for helping him. Then we felt it was an important step for him to take in becoming an adult. He is going to be moving back to his moms after he graduates. He is doing this so he can work full time and save money. His mom has a large home and now lives alone. The rent money that he gave us, we plan to give it all back to him as part of his graduation gift. We are very proud of him.