Hey deadly. (Yes, I read the whole thing
). I'm so happy you've joined our family - I know it's going to help you so much. This is a wonderful place, & everyone will relate to what you've gone through.
You may think 42 is old - but I was in my 50's when I finally got sober. I played with it my whole life, and never dreamed I could live without it. I have no idea why I clung to it for so long - it never helped me cope with anything, and in the end brought me nothing but misery. The fun it once was is gone, and it's never coming back. I'm glad you learned that - and it sounds like you're determined this time. Congratulations!