It is so sad that the man that you vow to love and respect and whom you feel will protect you at all cost turns out to be the man to abuse and terrorize you. This is what I fear would happen if I provoke my AH while under the influence. He has bullied me before and it is so scarey - I feel so bad for you. Like you, my friends have no idea of how to comprehend something like this! I understand how you feel, wanting to give "one last try", but if like me, this has been going on for years! We are on yet another "last time phase" because they are such good husbands when they are lying and cheating (with alcohol)! I wish you the best. Please keep us updated, we are with you in spirit!