I remember thinking what was said above: The most dangerous person in my (and my children's) life is my husband (and their father.)
Once I knew that, I was forced to start detaching. Once he and I were physically separated, I felt like I might have a chance at sanity, or at a minimum, peace.
Recovery seems to be a lifetime process of humbling oneself and recognizing that alcohol is in straight opposition to any of the real, good things in life. Without that state of mind, they can't succeed in recovery, and without recovery, you can't share your life with him.
Good luck.