Hey guys. I haven’t been here in a while because I thought thing were going better (stupid of me, huh?).
The last time I posted was right after I told my AH that if I found him lying again, I would leave him. Well, last week, I came home after work and knew right off he’d been drinking. All the signs were there. Well, after I asked him several times and he denied it, I told him he had one last chance to “fess up”. I told him I knew he was lying and that it was the lying that made things intolerable, not the slip up. Well, he then admitted to a having a small bottle. I knew he was still lying as the signs were there for having had much more.
I then told him that I wasn’t going to be lied to anymore and that we were through. I went into our closet and started to take my clothes into the guest room until I could make arrangements to move out. (Financially, I had no other choice- no family nearby) Once he realized I was serious, he went nuts. Most verbal threats and trying to block my way to keep me from getting my clothes. I then tried to take my purse, coat and keys to leave. He grabbed my purse (with my key in it) and refused to let me have it. He then blocked my way to get out of the house (he outweighs me by over 100 pounds). After trying several times to get him to calm down, I then tried to grab just my keys and dash to the door. He grabbed me and threw me down on the bed and then tried to hold me, not allowing me to leave. I finally managed to grab just my phone and get to the car (he was too drunk to move very quickly).
Once in my car, he pounded on the window and told me to unlock it. I had to call the cops. He then went inside and left me in my car in 30 degree weather with no coat of keys to start it. Once the cops got there, they tried to talk to him. One of the cops came out to the garage and told me that AH was starting to **** him off and he was tempted to arrest AH just for that. AH even lied to them saying he had only had a small bottle. The cop told him he knew AH was lying when he blew a .27! Because the saw marks on me, they had no choice but to arrest him.
The next afternoon, I picked him up in front of the jail. He seemed very contrite, but I didn’t really want to talk. He told me the next day that this was rock bottom for him. The things he heard while in jail really seem to have gotten to him. He hasn’t touched a drop in 10 days and even bought a breathalyzer that I can ask him to use at any time. He told ne it’s not as a deterrent to drinking, but as a way to try to rebuild the trust he’s destroyed. He’s also finally admitted that, even though he also thought he could eventually go back to drinking and control it, he may never be able to drink again. I’ve spent the last week in the guest room trying to decide what I want. He’s a wonderful man when he’s not drinking and I truly believe if he can avoid the alcohol, we can have a good life together.
I guess I’m not really asking any particular question. I know I have to make up my own mind. I just needed to get all this out someplace where people will understand all the facets of a situation that no one in my real life can understand.