Also, it's really, really hard to get yourself better and watch out for someone else too, especially if that person doesn't want to stop drinking themselves. Try to maintain that balance but don't get discouraged or upset if you can't---it's very difficult.
There's also several posts on here (one just recently; today I think) about how trying to recover, help another recover or moderate, and stay in the relationship sometimes ends up with the person who is trying to recover drinking again just to deal with it or feel like the relationship is "normal" again.
Again, I am not expert but I have tried to stop several times with partners who were alcoholics and it was a tough slog. I ended up drinking again.
My best friend D drove an hour to say to me yesterday that it's like trying to save yourself from sinking when someone else is pulling me down.
I've had some good conversations with P today, but he's suffering, too. We're talking about counseling. He wants to talk again, though. And his first message was: "I'm reconsidering what I said." I don't know what it is that he's reconsidering, but I'm so anxious to talk to him that I'm shaking.
Yes, it's hard for both of us. And I'm searching for ways out of my situation. I know that it may mean I will lose him. Although it hurts to think of it, I know it's a reality I will have to face.
Thank you for your kind words, everyone. I'm going to look up those resources you mentioned, Sasha4.