Is there a term for this? Or is it mental addiction maybe?
Yes. It's called early stage addiction.....moving (as addiction does because it's a progressive disease) toward mid-stage addiction.
No one starts using drugs anticipating that they will become addicted. It almost always starts out as a lifestyle thing....having fun.....enjoying partying......and then the negative consequences start......they may lose or leave relationships that threaten the lifestyle (like he left you), they have trouble at work (you mention you think he left his job), they have financial problems (they can't pay rent and lose their housing just like he did). And they still can't stop using.
He may still be in the stage where he's "enjoying the lifestyle" but he's had several of the negative consequences and he still doesn't want to stop. If it walks like a duck, talks like a duck, it's probably a duck.
I am a codependent. For a very long time I didn't want to believe that my XAH or my son was an addict. I was in denial. I did exactly what the addict does. I minimized his use. I made mental excuses for them. I told myself "it's not that bad" when all the evidence screamed "oh yes it is!"
It's all part of the disease of addiction. It is a family disease. It affects everyone who comes into contact with the addict. And it's progressive.
I sincerely hope that your bf is not addicted. And I'm not suggesting that he is....... I don't know him and I only see the very small picture that you have painted here. But the picture that you have painted thus far is indicative of addiction.
gentle hugs
ke