Thinking. I think about how I will have to pick up a white chip AGAIN. How I have to go back to step 1. How am I different from all of those sober people at AA? I am not and I can stay sober too.
I play the tape through. Drinking will do nothing but eff my life up. Everything I have now is due to my sobriety: trust is the main one.
Oh, and get a new sponsor ASAP.