Dear leighr, I think that you are exhibiting classic thinking and behaviors of co-dependency and enabling him---WITH THE BEST, AND MOST NOBLE OF INTENTIONS!! I did that sooo much before I understood more about this disease and how I played into it (with good intentions). What works well in healthy relationships often has the opposite effects when in relationship with an addict. What a surprise that was for me!!!
Weekly dinners--bad idea, in my opinion. H is relationship with his daughter is HIS resplonsibility. He will never take responsibility for the things you are still doing for him.
You are trying to do the "impossible"---it is a black hole that will never end!
sincerely, dandylion