Hi Mistlechild and welcome! So glad you found us and posted.
I agree with everything Sasha4 said. I also think that whether you're pre-destined or not, becoming an "avoider" is almost an inevitable part of being a drunk. It doesn't matter when or where it started.
But being an avoider can also help you as I think you might have proven here. You got to some place safe where you could start working on YOU. That's the important part.
I also had a BF who was a alcoholic too and reacted the same way when I told him I wanted to get help. People tend to not like mirrors held up to them whether that is the intention or not.
Point is, don't worry about him right now. Worry about YOU. Get yourself straight and then, I promise and I am sure many other here will testify, facing what you have to face, whether you're an avoider or not, will be a hell of a lot easier.
Good luck to you and please keep posting.
(Sasha4: I LOVE your posts and look for them all the time. You seem to always be able to strike the balance between empowerment and empathy and that is so awesome. Thank you for your posts and your guidance---you are an amazing writer and obviously an amazing person as well!)