When I asked my addict /alcoholic husband to leave 2 weeks ago, I was pretty confident and proud in my decision. I was left with 4 young children (for another woman and her 3 children) by my first husband so I NEVER, EVER imagined putting someone that I love so dearly like I do my husband, through that kind of pain (especially when he went through it 12 years ago when his older daughter's mother moved herself and their daughter out of the house for another man without any warning.) After all,we are dealing with an illness here, (addiction) and when I dealt in the past with misdiagnosed depression and anxiety issues and was put on several different medications that only made me worse (suicidal, no ambition, more depressed and emotional and sometimes outright crazy between switching medications)he was right there by my side. I sometimes wonder if that's part of why he is so hurt/angry about the situation. Feeling abandoned. But,I too have felt abandoned in the past several months since we moved and we were in walking distance (my husband doesn't drink) of the places that he usually scores pills and drinks. He was hardly home in the evenings eating dinner or spending time with the family. He would only come home to pass out.His addiction had gotten so bad that he stopped being affectionate almost all together and he went from having excellent hygiene to hardly caring anymore. I know I'm going back and forth here, but I'm being to miss him.The old him.Someone said something yesterday on here about missing the way her husband smelled and that REALLY hit home with me.I decided to try to call him(even though the last time that I did,he said the cruellest things that I've ever heard in my life and he hasn't made one attempt to call or apologize since his wrath on Wednesday morning. I left him a message to call me yesterday afternoon, but he never called back. I know that talking to him is only going to hurt my feelings and if I even thought about seeing him,I would probably cave and let him back in without him changing a thing and it would go right back to where we were. Probably worse. My boundaries wouldn't mean a thing. Just need some support and kind words. My sponsor is at church and I trying to talk myself out of calling again.
