Any advice?
I'm not sure if I am doing things right and I know that no one can actually tell me if I am, but just wondering if anyone in my situation is facing something similar.
I have been separated from my AH for 9 months. Most of my story can be found under another post (I don't have enough posts to add a link, but the title is: my first post - kinda long).
We finally saw him for the first time in almost 2 months a week and a half ago when I invited him to dinner. Since then we have spoken on the phone at least once a day, but neither of us has much to say. I continue to tell him that he has to work on his problems for himself, not me or us or our daughter. We can't be his only reason for sobriety. He continues to insist that he can't do it on his own. I ask as few questions about his life as possible. I figure if he wants me to know, he will tell me in his own time. It is difficult, because I would like to know if he is taking his meds, going to the doctor or even attempting AA, which he says he looked into but I'm not so sure. I am 99.9% sure he is still drinking. I am 0% sure that he is taking care of himself.
Am I doing the right thing by not seeing him? I have been considering inviting him over on a weekly basis, but would that do more harm than good? I know it is not my responsibility to make sure he spends time with his child, but he seems to be leaving it all up to me. I just want to scream -- TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR OWN LIFE!!!!
My daughter is now starting to have emotional issues over not seeing her dad. I have a counseling assessment scheduled for her this week, and her teacher has asked that I come in for a conference. She refuses to discuss her feelings with me and I don't push her. All I can do is be there for her. I make it a point to never speak ill of her dad around her. She has to form her own opinion of him based on his actions. That is alot for an 8 year old to handle.