Hey Paul! Congrats on the progress. Opening up and being honest is a vital part in sobriety, first in seeking it and second in maintaining it. It's upsetting about your mother, however you may be helping her, as you are seeking help for yourself. It's scary! But you can do this! You were given a warning by the man above to ought in your hockey game, and it screams stop the insanity! This isn't going away on it's own! Please Paul, heed the warning and do the work. It's so much more rewarding than the constant battle of wishing it would go away. You can do this!