Love the new step Ann!! Although I must admit, my husband did call the cleaning lady and I am making my travel plans around what day she comes! Progress not perfection, lol!
Like Ann and Laurie, I took on way too much thinking I was superwoman! At the age of 38, I became a wife (which did change my thinking), a full time mother to my kids who were 8 and 10. They had poor hygiene, had never been to a dentist, poor study or no study skills, especially my daughter who was behind in school. Yes, I became as smart as my 5th grader in a hurry by relearning what I had forgotten. Oh, those words problems still give me a headache, lol.
My terminally ill mother had moved to be near me and that alone was a full time "job" too. I continued to work part time and had 4-5 high maintenance dogs to care for. I did the fish tanks, hermit crabs, hamsters and we even tried a rag doll kitten for a while but one of my employees was too allergic.
I got the kids involved in youth group, sports, music lessons, and counseling. The legal battle was still not over and she (bio mom) continued to play her sick games at the expense of her own children.
I took on all this in the first year! The year we had 3 hurricanes too. My husband was a great partner then and I did have hired help so I thought I could do it all. But the more i took on, the more i micromanaged and became overwhelmed and controlling over time. I just didn't see it.
My son started to really act out around 10 but I was great at making excuses for him. Both my husband and I were in denial. It wasn't until he made a bomb threat at school at 12, a felony, and started to run away, we both knew we had big problems. We had been working with a great child psychologist who helped us a lot to co-parent effectively but my son continued to up the anti, so to speak. We were in over our heads but didn't know what to do....any more then we were already doing.
Then my mother passed away and in hind sight, I became depressed but refused to admit it. I believe it was around this time, my husband started taking pain killers (first legitimately) but liked the feeling of not feeling the stress as a coping mechanism. I actually took a couple here and there too...to unwind. By the grace of God, I didn't like them but he did. The door was open and the devil (addiction) walked in.
But never during this time did I see that I too had problems until I joined SR. I had become my own worst enemy and didn't know it. Like KE says, I didn't have problems....just solutions I didn't like.
This has all been hard and painful but so enlightening too. I could not change what I could not acknowledge. Most of the time, not all but most, I am learning to love to my new journey. I thank you all more then i can express who have helped me see what I couldn't or refused to.
God is good...all of the time!
Oh and my worst night mare came true twice after my kids visited her.....lice!
. We had to have the judge court order her to address it. Thankfully, all her visits were suspended, she didn't fight it and the lice problem was over! She then signed over her parental rights and disappeared for a long time!