Hi Paul, Your really in tune if you recognise all the signs for both you and your Mum.
By staying with your family due to anxiety your starting a plan, now all you need to do is expand that to not drinking and soon enough you'll have your freedom back and be able to go and leave the nest and show your Mum the way.
Keep on in here ,you can do it and now is better than in 20 or 30 years.
Good luck.
John.