24 Hours .... Longer Than I Remembered
Hi again,
I posted here for the first time two days ago. It was my idea of a confession and a self-assessment.
At that time I had been sober only 11 hours. After writing I resolved I would stay sober for 24 hours and take it from there.
I slipped. Not terribly so... I had two beers at dinner and spent the rest of the night white knuckling my urge to sneak out and get ****** up. I didn't sneak out thou; I considered that a success.
I woke up the next morning and did what I had to to do. I lined up more work (I'm a freelancer in film and TV) and was called for a job interview in my field. I was feeling good...no...great.
By 10 pm last night, after 600 ml of vodka and 4 beers, I was drunk; **** faced actually. Trying to convince my fiancee I wasn't only irritated her.
She woke up to go to work at 4 am. When I woke up 3 hours later I found 13 empty 200ml vodka bottle lined up on the counter. She had found the hiding places even I forgot about. There was a note reading, '....you need help...please get it'.
My heart broke. I felt shame like I have never felt. I went back to bed.
All day my impulse has been to DRINK DRINK DRINK!!! DRINK GODDAMNIT!!!
I can;t even make 24 hours ... how do I stop this?!?!