The doctor knows everything now. Last year I was taking Valium, opiates, drinking from
The moment I woke up, swallowing whatever else I could. I gave up everything on New Year's Day. Spent 6 weeks totally sober. In that time I had numerous suicidal
Episodes which I won't go into detail about.
Those 6 were the first 6 weeks since I was 14 years old (I'm 34 now) where I haven't been abusing substances or sticking my fingers down my throat. Hard. Really hard. Ended up back on Valium at a therapeutic dose because it was the only thing that stopped the suiicidal stuff. Of course abused it until hubby took it. Had a four day alcohol binge last week and nearly ended up in hospital. Have not drunk since Sunday and for plan on it again. I'm going to stick to my Valium dose and anti depressants while I get intensive counselling and the gp is in regular contact with my hubby.
They will send me to medical detox down the track to went properly off Valium. Last time I nearly had a seizure.
Hubby is happy to help. He wants me well. And alive.
I cannot do long term rehab. I know people will say so whatever it takes but I cannot. I have 5 children. Hubby has to work otherwise we have no house/car/food. Nobody can look after 5 kids for us for a few months.
This is the best we have and we will make it work.
I'm sick of being sick.