Old 02-25-2013, 03:58 PM
  # 16 (permalink)  
LexieCat
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Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
Yes, Fadedjeans has said his g/f is still drinking.

drc hit it on the head. Her reaction is HER problem. YOUR problem, Fadedjeans, is placating her and making your actions about how to keep her from behaving badly. This is why they call it a "merry-go-round." You react to her, which she reacts to, and you react, yada yada. It takes two people to keep the merry-go-round in motion. If you step away, and do what is right for you, REGARDLESS of her reaction, then what she does is completely her responsibility.

Manmust, if you would normally say where you are going when you leave the house, go ahead and tell her. If you normally would not, then don't. If she asks, tell the truth. All you have to say is that her drinking upsets you and that Al-Anon will help you to address those feelings. Period. It isn't about how to manage her, it's about how to manage you.
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