I'm not sure how parents cope with the pain of their child being an addict. I suffered the pain of knowing the drugs were going to win my husband and lived through it on a daily basis until I finally one day didn't feel that pain anymore. I became indifferent to it. I realized all the love and caring about him didn't matter. People who allow themselves to continue doing something whether it's drugs, alcohol, gambling etc. that hurts their spouse, the one they promised God to take care of and treat like Jesus himself, don't care, pure and simple. They want what they want when they want it and to hell with everyone else. I accepted that. I couldn't change it, and as another poster says, I didn't cause it and I can't fix it. IMO men and women are each other's helper in life. A wife or husband of an addict isn't required to be a doormat to the one using. The pain of knowing he chose a stupid axx pill over me is gone, he's the loser not me.