Todd - I too walk with God on my side and I struggle daily with working on my steps and confronting relaity face first. I wish that I knew what was right, but all I know is what I think it right for my child and myself seriously looking at putting the addict/my husband out of her reach, on;ly becasue he user her as a way to get back to me!
I will forever wish him recovery and a life filled with purpose and Hope but I dont think I have the Stamina to stand beside him when there is no firm ground to base build upon you see to the loved on eof the addict the aftermath is as dmagaing as when the addict is active.. Yeah we are glad that hey have stopped using, but it is just no that simple to except that at any minute he could get "sucked in", "Slip up" or "relapse" what kind of future is that???
I am active in recovery, I am a regular in the nar anon room and I spend a lot of time reading and I do attend an occasional meeting around town, I just find it more important to spend my evenings being a parent to my daughter. She already has been a hostage/vitom to his neglect and choice to use crack over parent his child, so I tend to not leave her with a sitter at night to go to a meeting.
Anyways... I still am working my program and I think that if my husband was working a program that I might see hope but he thinks "programs are for the weak ones" Yeah see why I am checking out after 16 yeras I dont know him anymore Hell he does not know himself.