Sam, I am on the other side of the fence; I was to leave the end of this month if I didn't do something about the drinking. It was absolute, and it forced me to get help I badly needed.
I have found that one thing has helped and that is that I have a mental "three baskets": in one I put my problems, in the second, his problems (he has plenty that I used as a backlash against accusations of drinking-he smokes etc., but it has kept me focussed on getting "me" better), and the third basket contains "our" problems. Haven't attacked that one yet.
I am only 9 days sober but it has made me a stronger person already, able to deal with things in a more rational way. I do not know if we will stay together, but we are for now...
You have my sympathy and I think Al-Anon is a great idea.