Good luck in your return efforts. I saw your post because of "commitment issues" spoke to me! Before I quit drinking I could barely even commit to putting on my socks much less a meeting or a plan.
You also mentioned "lying to yourself" which was the big thing for me. I took my first trip after becoming sober and was away from the country for 3 months. I did not drink that entire time, and now I am 7 months sober. Learning how to BE HONEST with myself and stop lying to myself was the single most helpful tool I have used in keeping myself sober. Keep telling yourself the truth and don't lie to yourself - value your sobriety and remember how important you are to so many people, including yourself!