I used to make my own beer many, many years ago. Had all the equipment, books, ingredients and a whole lotta knowledge and enthusiasm behind me. The only problem is that while it was fun, and I too got to learn about hand crafted beers, is that I also got a lesson in the progression of my alcoholism. I was in my early 20's, but by then I had already crashed a car and was burning through people and jobs looking for something to make me "complete". But those beers were always there. I guess the first clue to my alcoholism is that I would drink the beers that didn't work out for some reason - they would be off, but still have alcohol in them, so I drank them. So much for high appreciation for a well crafted beer. I just wanted oblivion.
Like many of the others here, I went from those lovely beers to wine, jug wine, and then vodka straight.
It's all the same, no matter what body it has, bouquet, type of hops used, etc...it's all poison.
Glad you're here!