BTW I think there is plenty of blame to go around. I have been made to think that all our troubles stemmed from me. Just in the last 6 days I have seen that my problems are definitely mine, his are his, and ours are ours. It helps to think of it as three buckets: one for your problems to solve, one for his, and the third for both of you. At least it has clarified my vision and lessoned my guilt.
I like this, a lot. I've been trying to teach myself when my man is worked up about something unrelated to me to be a safe place for him vent without letting it drag me down to a negative space. I am very empathetic so other people's bad moods rub off on me, and bad moods make me want to use so I have to be careful to not take on other people's problems as my own.
Day 11. Snowing here in the desert for the first time in 8 years and its beautiful!