It is amazing the power we give our A. And we don't even know we gave it to them. We have the choice to take it back.
I know exactly what you are speaking of. Mine made me feel so ugly and just useless. One day in an argument I looked at him and told him I am a beautiful, intellegent woman with a good heart you can not take that from me anymore. I will never forget the look on his face. All he said was "I know". I actually smiled and he got up and left. why that ended the fight i do not know but it made me feel good.
To a degree we have been brainwashed. manipulating us into what they need/want.
What has happened to you in my opinion is normal, until you stop it from happening.
I want some pie too.
All the best,
Coldgrip