Sophie,
i found myself having those "i should be feeling...by now i should surely..." ideas too, and i don't really know where they came from. where would i get this weird time-line from in my head about how i (or others?) "should" be at certain points?
made me laugh, eventually, after i looked at it for a while. so much of this journey into sobriety is individual, even though we share a lot in common.
person A may well be at a point at one year that i haven't come close to in my several, and maybe will never even visit.
"what's the rush" is a good and useful question, i find.
letting go (oh how i dislike this new-agey lingo, but oh how well it fits at times) of the preconceived notions of how things should be at certain points in time, or of some kind of set end-result that we will reach that will be some kind of perfection(and then what? stop??) used to seem like a cop-out to me (upbringing), but luckily i've mostly managed to remember and accept how ludicrous that is.
no, no rush. and no perfect end-goal to get to in this non-rush.