honey, you need to give yourself time, time, and time. i know how you feel and i broke up with mine three months ago after four years of putting up with him and putting myself down because of his disease, and now i hear he moved back with his ex and they are engaged!!! after four years he didn't have the guts to propose to me and let me tell you girl, i've done anything and everything to keep him happy. I know i was the best woman he could ever find in his life, and now he's engaged with his ex and i feel like crap, i think i wasn't good enough, he didn't love me enough, i naged too much, i shouldn't have asked him to stop drinking.....a few hours later i snapped and thought to myself.....I BROKE UP WITH HIM, I KNEW BETTER and I DID BETTER FOR MYSELF, i chose not to live that life style because i believe i deserve better, that life style might be wonderful for him, but i didn't see myself living like that for the rest of my life. It's damn hard hearing these news because i truly and dearly loved him with my everything, but we know better, just give yourself some more time and keep your distance as much as you can from your AH.....it will be better for you and for your daughters for now....you need to build yourself and be so strong, you have no time to deal with him. i believe once we are really ok with ourselves and love ourselves for who we really are then we won't be affected by them anymore because it will be harder for them or anyone else to break that image that we worked so hard to love.
be strong and keep your head high...you're getting there...keep it up.
hugs