The tears still haven't come yet. Maybe they won't, and that's ok. I have shed many, many tears over XAH - tears of saddness, anger, frustration, anxiety, devastation, relief, and defeat. I can count on one hand the times I've cried for joy over him. Given the anxiety, emotional devastation, and, at times, the volatility of my separation and divorce process, the actual end of my marriage was... anti-climactic. That is ok too.
I thought I would be somber this weekend, but I haven't been. It's truly been a good weekend. By sheer coincidence and good timing last week, my brother-in-law (XAH's brother) and sister-in-law and I have come into contact again. I haven't talked to them since XAH filed for divorce in July, and have missed them horribly. More so than XAH - that speaks volumes. The three of us became quite close during my short marriage. I had a really wonderful lunch with xSIL, spent time doing and planning projects for my house, saw my fam. Unusually good weather for this time I year, I spent time outside. Looking forward to spring.
Thanks everyone for your kind words.