I too, could have written a similar post. Yes, the pain you feel is evident. I am still in the beginning of this journey of separation and it has been a roller coaster. I just want to urge you more than anything to start valuing yourself! You deserve better. You deserve to be happy. You deserve someone who will treat you properly. You have to say those things to yourself until you actually believe them!
I am so sorry you are hurting. I can tell you just keep posting, use your friends and Alanon groups and that fellowship will go a long way!
Take care of yourself.