You *are* better than this. You deserve to be loved, respected, and treated with kindness. I understand the obsessive tendencies - I'm also obsessive compulsive (hair twirling, counting steps/actions, obsessive worrying & thinking) and it's hard to not fall into those patterns when your world is turned upside down. My best advice would be to follow the advice of your profile pic - BE the change. (Love that quote, by the way, one of my favorites.) Only you can control your own life. You have the power to change and bring serenity. In taking stock of what you want IN your life, you may find some clarity in what you want OUT of your life. Sending you hugs & strength.
