Originally Posted by LexieCat

It won't make anything worse, believe me.

Here's the thing. Detachment doesn't mean you don't care. It isn't being heartless. It is recognizing your own limitations in terms of what you can do for him.

I detached with love. I still care very much about my second husband. I would be thrilled to hear he had recovered. He, too, was a wonderful person and very kind and a lot of fun when he wasn't drinking his brains out. But I can do absolutely nothing to help him. He is likely to die if he keeps it up, but that outcome is just as likely whether I am around to suffer through it with him or not.

I chose to survive, for my own sake. I don't believe that was a selfish decision. If you are dragged down with him, how can you provide a good home for your child? How would I be a useful person in my career, one that has helped many other people, if all my energy were expended caring for someone who turned his back on help that would have actually done him some good?

I think Al-Anon will help you find some peace in your life.