I agree snowfall. You can't stay in limbo all your life because the man you love was incapable of seeking help. Mine even went into rehab & after 30 days came out and said, "Well, I know where I went wrong - I can just have a beer now and then." My heart fell to the floor.
I think Al-Anon will be a huge help for you. I didn't even know about it back when I was struggling to make sense of everything. I was the classic enabler, calling work for him - covering for him with the family - trying not to let anyone think bad of him. Al-Anon will help you detach with love, as Lexie said.