Thank you so much for your kind message. Its such a relief to find people on here who understand. I feel so terribly sad . I dont understand this illness and i so wish he would get back to his old self. Its almost like it would take a miracle to get him out of the trouble he is already in. At 43 and divorced for a year its so hard for me to move on. I split with him because I had no choice. I am from the UK and i had social servcies all over me after he was arrested and i decided to divorce because i couldnt risk our son being put on the 'at risk register'. Its sounds from your message that you too have had a lot to deal with and I am amazed that after 65 years of hard drinking yoru mum is still here. I had to remove son from the toxic environment created by this addiction but so miss the man i married. ;-(