He's Like a Cult Leader
My AH has been out of the house for a couple of months. I have been feeling so much better about myself. I've come to the conclusion that I'm a darn good woman. I've been taking much better care of myself and my kids and taking time to enjoy my life. All in all, it's been a great learning experience.
My AH came over for Thanksgiving dinner. He spent a couple of hours with me and the kids. He seemed nice enough and wasn't too drunk.
After he left, I went to change clothes, looked in the mirror and thought "You are so fat." I then proceeded to eat half of a chocolate pie. Now, I know that I'm not fat but the woman looking back at me from the mirror was an entirely different woman than the one I'd seen that morning.
It amazed me that spending a couple of hours with him could make me feel so worthless all over again. Maybe it is the years of conditioning coming back to haunt me?
Has anyone experienced this? If so, as my self-esteem continues to increase, will his effect on me go away or is this a life long curse? I know that I should stay away from him, at least for a while. I'm trying to make this transition easier on my girls by trying to remain on friendly terms but maybe the one I need to worry about is me.
Thanks - L