I'M so sorry for jumping in im new to this. i just registered i need help
i drank a
lot: average 12 beers every other night (functionally)
i am now in a DUI class and have come to terms with the fact that i'm an alcoholic. I hate it, it's ruining my life, i dont know how i made it this far.
On average twice a month ill binge and dring 3 to 4 12-packs in a night.
i seem to hate myself everytime i drink...but a day later its like i forget why i hate it.
i got started on Antabuse 2 weeks ago, and was so relieved...no more fighting with myself...no more decision making...no more arguing with the smart me...just cant do it...
1 week later i had to do it...test it out...its a good thing to try right? Even my doc said go ahead try it...the results would strengthen my resolve by negative feedback.
Guess what...i did and it doesnt work...im still taking my antabuse, yet i can drink 7-9 beers with only a bad hangpver the next day. (Hangover never stopped me before)
Im lost...i want sobriety i do...but i seem to be my own worst enemy..ive never missed a dose (and im on 500mg, heaviest dose)
i even take it the morning after with no noticeable effect.
Good news my doc did say there are other meds that reduce craving and can be more effective..i think ill try them.
Im not just trying to find a pill, but i cant explain how i could just keep talking myself into drinking...im desperate..i spend my life 1/2 drunk 1/2 hating myself for being drunk...im miserable