jessers

Hi!
I am reaching out for help because everywhere I have gone hasn't provided much for answers and my friends don't understand.

I am dating a guy whom I've known for over 15 yrs. We are both 25. We just started dating a few months ago. I went through a divorce this last year and he is my first boyfriend since then, I finally became ready to date. We fell in love, he treats me amazing, he provides me with emotional support when I Need it and when I am with him I feel complete. I can see being with him the rest of my life.
He has been a drug addict and alcholic for the past 8 years. He has done everything you can imagine, from heroin, to meth, to shooting up ativan, to coke and marijuana. He has been to rehab several times and has been homeless and never hasnt had to work or do a real job in years. He hit "rock bottom" in november and almost died. His family took him back in and he got sober. He has a great support system of doctors, therapists, AA meetings, and family support. He had no friends because all of his friends from here are involved in drugs or drinking. We connect on facebook and decided to hang out since I am sober from everything, including alcohol because of health reasons. I don't even drink at the bar with my friends. We started dating and things were going wonderful.
About 3 weeks ago, his doctor put him on wellbutrin, it caused him to start feeling like crap. headaches, mood swings, even suicidal thoughts. He is a hippie natural kinda guy so he was against the med from the beginning. He was working 2 jobs and tired from the long hours, which was something he wasn't used too. I saw him start to sink in a depression. I tried my best to save him, but I would get texts saying "I should just run away" because it was his "go to" thing when things got hard.
He relapsed. He bought coke from some old friend at work and did it. He told me about it the next day. I chose to stay because he was honest about it right away and I know that people can have slip ups. Plus I loved him.
He got a job offer at a news station, which was huge for him. He could start over with a real career and not work these dead end jobs. He was stressed because of the drug test. I kept getting texts saying he was gonna run away because he knew he would fail it and his parents would kick him out so there was nothing left for him. I would spendall mytime and energy basically talking him off the cliff daily. The day of the test came and he asked me to buy him some detox drink. I was worried this would be "enabling" him and in hindsight i can see it was. I did it and I regret it.
He failed the test. He freaked out and i got a text saying he was leaving to new mexico. I went over to his house and begged him to stay but he was cold and said he had nothing left here and he had to leave. I was crying but nothing I was saying made an impact so I left. I got a text later saying he wasn't leaving and he was ready to face the issues and deal with things the right way.
We hung out a few days ago, and we talked about how he did tell his parents but they weren't upset and they were giving him another chance to prove he is ready to be sober becaue they expected these slip ups. I asked him to be honest with me and tell me if he has messed up at all besides that one time...he told me he had..the DAY BEFORE HIS DRUG TEST. I could have hit him. He knew he would fail. He had me buy him that stupid drink. i felt like fool. I told him we needed to talk and figure it out but I wasn't going to stick around if this was the way it was going to be. He fed me some crap line about how he was ready to change blah blah blah and he needed me blah blah blah and loved me blah blah blah.
I told him we would work on it. Well the next day (yesterday) we were supposed to hang out, but he bailed. I got a bad feeling, and asked him if it was because he was high. Sure enough, he got some morphine. I told him I was done. I can't stand the emotional struggles with this anymore. The back and forth. I am exhausted with my own life. I have 3 jobs plus nursing school.
The issue is..I love him. and I dont want to leave him. But I feel like if i don't give some sort of consequence then he will never stop. I would be enabling him.
We talked in person today, I balled. and he apologized but didn't say much. I left and kissed him in the cheek and told him to call me when he is sober.

I feel like my heart has been ripped out. I love him and just wantto be with him. All i want at this very moment is to be laying next to him giggling.
I don't know if i can stay strong.

What do i do?!?!?!