Hi again, I am certainly no one to give relationship advice (My romantic history would make Oprah turn into an alcoholic after one interview!) but I do know that it is hard to stay in a relationship when that person has basically come to know you in one way even if you're not that way all the time. I think you mentioned your partner is a drinker too but seems to be able to "control" it. That was the case in my situation as well although, looking back, most of our arguments were on whose drinking style was "more healthy" and I think that is probably not what "healthy" couples talk about regularly. He was a weekend warrior who could go out Fri-Sun and binge and then abstain all week whereas I rarely binged but had to have my bottle (or two) of wine nightly. I drank mostly at home, him at the bar. When I decided to stop a couple years ago for the first time I found that I couldn't deal with him sober----at times I couldn't actually stand him. I spent years allowing him to convince me how bad I was because I was an at-home nightly drinker so when I stopped and refused to take that abuse anymore, well, I found we didn't have a lot to talk about anymore. I also couldn't change ME around someone who only saw the drunk me and not the potential of a sober me. We were only together for three years and it sounds like you and your partner have more under your belt as far as time and experience but perhaps therapy would help too down the road if you decide to stay together. It didn't for us because he didn't want to stop drinking or feel that my sobriety would suddenly be a judgement of his behavior so we went our separate ways. But as someone wisely mentioned above, until you can get yourself out of the woods, there is no point dealing with large, messy emotional things like relationships and "the future." Space might actually be very much a blessing here even if it feels sh*tty at the moment. Glad you're giving yourself some TLC (flowers, pedicure) today. Don't worry about him right now as much as you can---think about you. X