Hi mydee , got yr message just in time !so this will probably make some of you laugh , I'm sure it'll make me laugh in awhile but today It just really upset me. so Bc my man has left, my kids ( 12 yr old girls, twins) are having to get them selves up and ready for school as I start work at six am. This morning I rang arou d 7:20 and they hadn't gotten up to the alarm. Now one is really quick and the other , well she's of a slower pace in the morning. I asked quick twin to help out slow twin by making her lunch. I'm on the phone listening to them argue and trying to speak In neutral tones so I don't escalate the problems ( when I just wanted to shout - oh my god I hate your father, sort your s@@t out and let me get on with it - all the while feeling reprehensible that I've left my babies at home to fend for themselves. So, they made the bus. I relaxed. I get a call from slow twin ( that sounds terrible but well stick to it for now ! ) she says can you bring me some lunch my sister has made me a chilli powder sand which and I've had nothing to eat. I was furious ! I thought you nasty so and so , how could you etc etc , to the point of tears! Bc I couldn't solve the problem and felt its all my fault for not being there. Arghhhh. Told said twin off on way home from school, got so angry when she thought it was nothing and just thought DRINK !! got home read yr message. Wrote this, smiling a bit now. ☺No drinks here ! Going for a walk in an hour - then just a few more hours to go before blissfull bed and some more sleep. Just want to add - I've been on my own before with the kids , for years at a time. I never drank during the day but always had that wine waiting for me when they went to bed. Like many , many mums I assume. It's just that unfortunately those bottles started multiplying. Any tips on dealing with how to wind down much appreciated. I certainly don't want to be taking sleeping pills forever x best x seiceps