One of the things that keeps me continuing to do the right thing is that I DON'T WANT TO DIE!!! It's not worth it, and I have my kids, a great guy in my life, good job, still in school working towards my dream job, why screw it all up. Alcohol is so nasty.
Sorry about your friend Elisabeth, but I'm glad it's helping you to see that doing what you're doing is the best thing for you.