I have seen several counselors, therapists that specialized in addiction, even a psychologist who was quite good and probably the one who did me the most good.
What I found was that they took a long time identifying what I already knew...I had deep codependency issued stemming back to my childhood and newly triggered by my son's addiction. Once they identified that, they really didn't seem to know what to do about it except to teach me to relax, detach and medicate for anxiety attacks.
Others may have better luck, but the truth is that I didn't find anything helpful until I began attending live meetings, going to several, and learning from those who had been where I was.
We are all different and what works for one is not what works for another. But my experience is that the people who truly understand and know how to get through it and past it are the people who have been where I was.
What is important is to try...to not isolate in the darkness but to reach out for help from many places and then find what helps you and stick with it.
Hugs