I wouldn't take the pill either. Past tense.
I was in deep depression after cardiac surgery. Turns out that's pretty common for folks like me. It was a really deep clinical depression. You don't have thoughts of suicide when you're worried about dying every second of the day. Literally sitting at work and wondering if you are going to make it to the next moment.
Or lying in bed on a Saturday for hours, as still as you can be, waiting to die right then - at that moment. Why commit suicide when you'll die NOW.
Or if you've been on the operating table, staring up at the lights like in the movies, and you know they're going to crack your chest open in a couple of minutes.
When death is not a moment away - it's NOW.
My doctor finally convinced me to take an anti depressant - and thank heaven for her. That, to me was the pill - not to cure me of drinking - but to release me from that black hole of clinical depression.
So - while I hate the idea of taking drugs for a behavioral and cognitive cure - they can work.
Long post - dang!