Originally Posted by
bemyself 
Yet.......here I am, still drinking. I'm smart, I'm super-educated, I love discussion on a huge array of topics, I'm alone, I'm often bored, I love my dog, I have no family or friends (within striking distance), I love gardening, I'm retired due to various disabilities (including alcohol dependence, but that's not the only one), I have some money other than the pension, I'll always be a renter as I age further (due to past relationship / financial disasters)......on it goes. I kind of know who I am.
I guess, I just wish I could BE 'recovered', be done with it, get through the first day, 2nd day, etc as the blasted Beast does its thing with withdrawal symptoms, thoughts, and all its other tactics. But I simply seem not to be able to just separate fully.
I'm not being hard on myself; I know I CAN do this for good. But by gees, there's something I'm missing - not in the technique, but in myself. Bleh!!!
Hi Vic,
I'm glad you started this thread.
No worries, you'll soon be quitting again, and it can be the last time you need to quit. Absolutely it can.
Sometimes the harder we work and try for something, the more difficult and challenging the task mysteriously becomes...
Its easy to say, but, relax and give up trying to do AVRT perfectly. Its not about getting AVRT done right that is important, its really more about using AVRT to
get right with yourself about not drinking. You're far more important then any AVRT techniques. AVRT is simply a tool to help YOU be the YOU only YOU can be when not drinking -- AVRT helps you to not drink, and really doesn't do much more then advertised.
Sometime people come to think AVRT makes it impossible to drink, and that's just not true about AVRT. AVRT makes it possible to stay away from drinking, without fail, unless one decides otherwise. Our decisions makes or breaks the strength of our AVRT.
"But I simply seem not to be able to just separate fully."
This kind of misunderstanding in itself can create enough doubt to seriously have you at the mercy of your Beast and AV.
Separation does not require a valuation of "fully" or "this much is enough" or whatever -- with AVRT any separation is enough and sufficient to successfully keep away from drinking.
Its really that simplistic. AVRT is not difficult to enjoy instant satisfactions with going forward.
When we believe we don't have sufficient separation, we do ourselves great harm, and AVRT is pretty well useless after that to aid us in not drinking.
I am suggesting you revisit the idea that AVRT is a way and means to separate YOU from your Beast/AV, and that AVRT is totally capable of accomplishing that separation without struggle or difficulty.
I also suggest, the struggles you are having
with drinking is not you, but those of your Beast; and the struggles you're having
with not drinking are the struggles you're having with yourself.
Take a good hard look at what I just suggested. Listen for the AV. Recognise it. Let it go. Move on. Listen for more AV. Recognise it. Move on.
Feeling like drinking? That is the Beast you're feeling, not YOU'RE feelings.
Feeling sure of not drinking? That is not the Beast, that's all YOU
Please try to take it easy, Vic. I have every good hope for YOU.
