Originally Posted by
freshstart57 
Well, there is a lot of discussion on this whole separation / nondual thing about AVRT. I agree that at first, I treated my AV like an ex GF who lied and cheated and made a fool of me, exactly as alcohol did. Total separation. Scorched earth. I don't see you, I don't hear you, I will never ever give you a glance or so much as the time of day again. You call me or try to contact me, I will just smile to myself and hang up.
I am coming to a more integrated holistic understanding now, that my AV is something I just accept now. I think I might have worded my post better, so let me try again.
To learn how to live without alcohol, we must learn to treat ourselves with kindness and care, and teach ourselves to do what is right for us, not what our AV demands.
For me, the only thing I had to learn to live without alcohol was - I have the capacity to make that once in a lifetime Big Plan and I'm going to do it. I will never drink again. There, I did it. The T of R'ing my AV makes it much less frustrating and time-consuming.
Do I treat myself with more kindness and care without ethanol flowing through my veins some of the time?
Well, when I used to drink, I tried very hard to take care of myself and put on a good face of health and cheer to others. I thought trying to figure out how to enjoy the deep pleasure of booze and not get in trouble WAS taking care and being as kind as possible to myself. YUK!! So, I see it as a loaded question my AV is dying for me to mull over.
Anything that suggests not drinking requires or even ought to imply any particular living condition is AV.