Relapse of a different flavor
I had 1 yr sober from alcohol in Jan. My DOC.
I have always liked pain pills, abused them occasionally but never "addicted" to where I couldn't quit. I would just take 2-3 day, whether or not I needed them just for the buzz & energy boost. Never increased the amount of pills, never got them illegally. I was prescribed various kinds throughout the yrs.
I have never been able to resist them if they are in my possession.
It had been 2-3 yrs since I've taken any.
Anyway, my husband had a bottle prescribed for dental surgery which I knew he wouldn't take, he's never liked pills, he drinks for pain.
I ignored them on the counter for a few days.
My AV would not let up. You can control this, it's only X amount of pills, blah blah
So I gave in.. I took 2 the first day. Felt great. Body was numb, full of energy, happy, then I took 3 for a few days. I had to hide the bottle so hubby would not notice them missing. I was taking them on empty stomach to get a better buzz...complete addict behavior.... my Beast went CRAZY, this would be better if you were drinking. I immediately started planning, how to get booze, hide it, tried to talk "trick" husband into buying me beer for SuperBowl, he said no.
Then we got snowed in for a few days, thank God.
I got up to 5/day & felt really ill, heart pounding, dizzy, felt awful.
I realized how I had resorted to my old self in a week's time. Luckily, the bottle was almost empty.
I came back to my senses & realized that is what I worked so hard to get away from.
Unfortunately I did not have the willpower to fess up or toss the rest. I finished the bottle.
My lesson was learned, I can't let my guard down.
I thank my Lord I did not start drinking again b/c that would not end.
I had to tell you, warn those who may come to this predicament.
If you've gotten free of any kind of addiction, don't go back. One can lead to another.
I know better now. Regrettably, PCL