thank you guys for the support. everything that you are saying is very helpful. i am going to take your advice and words of wisdom.
one thing i am going to work on is not thowing all the bad things he did up in his face....or thinking about doing that all the time. last night my husband came to me to tell me how much he loved me, how thankful he was home, and how happy he is that we are working things out...and of course how sorry he is...and how he would never make the same mistakes again. he talked about how regarding his family, he has taken responsibility for his actions by owning what he did wrong...the cheating, doing drugs, going to jail, lying...all of it. and of course realizes exactly what he has and what is important and taking the steps he needs to take to stay in recovery.
and after he said all of that....i just wanted to ask him why he did what he did? i wanted to throw all of the bad things up in his face. but i held my tongue. i knew that it woudl not be productive to do that. i have to work through this anger. i dont want to be mad all the time...it eats at me. and i feel like i am wasting so much time doing that.