(((((Anoronha)))))
First let me say I do understand, oh how I understand!
You see I spent my first 9 years in recovery with UNDIAGNOSED Bi Polar. Yep, 9 years. By the time my 9th birthday rolled around, I was asking at different meetings if anyone had the name of a Psych Dr that works with sober alkies. You see, I was at the point that I KNEW I was INSANE, not just crazy but INSANE. I KNEW I was going to end up locked up in an asylum in a straight jacket, that is how bad it was, and they were never going to let me out. I was cycling so rapidly it was making my head spin. It is a terrible place to be especially when I no longer could use my old 'standby' to keep me sane. I would not wish that on my worst enemy!!!!
I suspect that HP was in there guiding somehow, because I received the name of a Psych Dr, same name from several different folks in different meetings, that it turns out literally SAVED MY LIFE. Now it did take another 3 years or so to finally find a combination of meds that worked, but they did and do work.
I also realized something in talking with her in our 'sessions' and with others that were sober and Bi Polar, that those of us with Bi Polar 'process' information differently and our 'thinking process' are different. Yes we can come to the same conclusion as other non Bi Polars do, but somehow we do it in a different way that seems logical to us but not to others, rofl Yep I can laugh at my self today.
You may go through several 'medication changes' in the coming years, won't change the fact that you're an alcoholic in recovery.
The best way I found to share other 'things, writings, etc' that helped me, was to again do my steps, after I was diagnosed, and then share what 'worked' for me with those that I sponsored. And believe it or not, I seem to draw to me, gals that also had 'mental issues'. I always share how the steps helped me and other things as well, what I had to do for me. However, in meetings, I share about what in AA has helped me over the years. Then at the 'meetings after the meetings' (ie going for coffee, lol) I can get into other books, science reports, whatever that I have found 'helpful'.
Continue to do your steps, using whatever 'help' packets work for you and sharing your step work with your sponsor! Hang in there, you too will become sponsor material and be able to share what has and is 'working for you' to stay sober. Also as time goes on you will find others, sober in AA with dual diagnosis maybe even a meeting here or there.
All I can tell you, is HANG IN THERE, is does get better with each step you work!!!!!
Love and hugs,