You don't have to do it alone. And by the way,I'm a little past 50 at which age I still didn't get it. And didn't want it then. So don't feel so bad about the age factor or lost days of the past. You have 2day,and that's what is important. I haven't been sober too long,so I'm not the authority on any of this. I'm just working at it one day at a time. Seeking help and support wherever I can get it. Educating myself on recovery methods and alcoholism. Glad you are here. And by the way,wishing you a Happy Birthday this upcoming Sunday. What a great present to give yourself.