Originally Posted by
RobbyRobot 
Don't sweat the confusion. It's not personal. Forget about it and move on.
Addiction ambivalence in action explains the stop n' go of wanting to do it (drink) even when you don't. We often want our cake and eat it too in early sobriety / abstaining.
Making deals with your AV highlights you already have skills in recognising your AV. Awesome. Sharpen up those skills and you're then in a new position to be surgically precise in knowing your AV.
Recognition is the key skill. Everything else is yesterday news...
Thanks Robby, that's encouraging to read
Originally Posted by
RobbyRobot Let's break it down into bite-sized bits of food for thought:
There is
just a desperate sense
of loneliness
Challenge:
-isolate being desperate
-isolate loneliness
Goal:
-desperation is another name for fear. Fear is a mind-killer.
-loneliness is experienced when one is
unable to be alone with themselves. Discover what is creating roadblocks to your being
satisfied with being alone with yourself.
Don't beat your self up in your quest. Rather seek why you're protecting yourself from yourself.
Let me know what you 'think', MTN.
Lol well what I am 'thinking' ...
is that I never used to have this problem. I'm quite aware of it and that I used to be very comfortable in my own company.
I have completely lost my sense of self in the last 6 years to the point of not feeling like I actually know who I am anymore. I don't even *really* know what I enjoy doing any more. Craziness huh?
I don't think I am protecting myself from myself because I think I am a bad person, maybe I am protecting myself from thinking about things I don't want to think about.
Right back to this thinking malarky!
I completely see where the others are coming from too that this shouldn't be a condition of my BP because if it was my BP would never get made. It's all a bit chicken and egg to me at the moment.
I think
